Reposada senectud

Traducción más o menos literal de un e-mail que acabo de recibir en japonés.

¡Una comunidad especializada en las relaciones sexuales! Objetivo: encontrarse rápidamente. ¡Todos al hotel!

Dirigido a hombres y mujeres de más de cuarenta años en cualquier parte del país. En el mundo de la gente de más de cuarenta años hay un gran deseo incumplido de mantener relaciones carnales. Nuestra web es la única que puede satisfacer ese enorme deseo.

Normas:
1. Personas de edad superior a los cuarenta años.
2. El objetivo es exclusivamente el trato carnal.
3. El secreto es básico: por favor, sea discreto.
4. La habitación del hotel se paga a medias.

Forma de contacto:
1. Intercambio de e-mail.
2. Intercambio de dirección electrónica del teléfono móvil.
3. Intercambio de número de móvil.
4. Como mínimo, acceda a nuestra web.

Consejo: a fin de poder mantener ese contacto a tiempo real, se sugiere preferentemente intercambiar el número de teléfono móvil.

Hace medio año más o menos me llegó el mismo, pero mucho más gracioso. Se titulaba: "Abrace a una cuarentona de su barrio, pero abrácela ya". Y concluía: "El nivel es bajo, ¡Pero la abrazará hoy mismo!" En fin, una ocasión más para repetir la gloriosa frase de Agustín Almodóvar: "Señora, es que los choris no descansan".

El ladrón sin Bagdad

"Los choris no descansan", avisa en Qué he hecho yo para merecer esto Agustín Almodóvar a Chus Lampreave. Aquí va un E-mail que me acaba de llegar cual regio ejemplo.

Good day sir.

This letter is from Mr. Koichi Miyagawa from Osaka, Japan. Please pay attention to this offer as you shall find the business content interesting though unusual. This offer holds confirmable facts and proof but should be treated with urgency and seriousness. Late Mr. Myeong-nam Jung and I registered a joint corperation in Abuhdhabi - United Arab Emirate called oriental supplies for the sake of sourcing and executing oil deals in arab region. In March 1998, we secured a supply deal from Abuh Dhabi National Oil company to supply oil drilling equipments. The deal was executed but on another expedition to negotiate another oil deal we ran into an unprescidented accident which tool the life of my friend and got me paralyzed.

Before I proceed, my attorney shall send you the following verifyable information by email:

1. A full color copy of my photo
2. A full color copy of my son's photo
3. A full color copy of my international passport
4. A full color copy of Mr Myeong-nam Jung photo (My Late partner)
5. A full color copy of Mr Myeong-nam Jung international passport
6. Complete details of the contract executed with Abuhdhabi National oil
7. company complete details of the transaction with the offshore bank
where funds are held An investment agreement between you I
8. A confidentiality agreement also between you I
9. Further details of what we require from you and how to go about it.
10. The most recent bank statement forwareded to you from the bank corperate website.

After tax deductions, We were paid the sum of $-47.900.000-. We collectively agreed to secure this funds offshore in a fixed deposit investment account for a period of 10 years. We contracted a banker who registered the account for us in the name of our joint corperation whereby I am his next-of-kin and also he is my next-of-kin.We deposited the sum of $-47.900.000 into that account. On the 16-Nov-2004 as we were about to negotiate deals with Iraq national oil company (INOC)and Iraq oil ministry (IOM) , Mr Myeong-nam Jung and I were both involved in a Paint can explotion in Irbil; Iraq and he passed away and I got paralized, unable to work or do anything for myself, I am still under intensive care in a hospital, going through several surgeries.
The offshore investment account matured as at March 2008 and efforts need to be made to claim the funds and since my partner is dead and I am paralyzed unable to work or do anything I am inviting you to act as my new next-of-kin.

This is an authentic deal without any flaws in it, it holds facts and confirmable evidence as you shall see but I request confidentiality, urgency and seriousness. Do not contact me, do not reply this email rather contact my attorney for further information at ATTN: Godswill Dube, E-mail: godswilldube2008@sify.com. For information regarding Late Mr. Myeong-nam Jung please visit the website
http://icasualties.org/oif/Contractors.aspx
Scroll down and you shall find him on the listing.
This transaction is an extremely urgent one and must be treated so.

Awaiting your reply.

Thanks for reading my email
Mr. Koichi Miyagawa